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Spirit House

Gemini I

by Johanna Warren

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03:59

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For Benjamin Blake & Damon Stang

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released September 16, 2016

All songs by Johanna Warren
Recorded and mixed by Bella Blasko
Co-produced by Bella Blasko & Johanna Warren
Mastered by Sarah Register

Johanna Warren - Vocals, guitars, bass, percussion, flute, harmonium, mellotron, vibes, synths
Bella Blasko - Vocals, piano, organ, mellotron, synths
Jim Bertini - Drums on Track 2
Jane Scarpantoni - Cello on track 9

Album photos by Gretchen Heinel

Gratitude to my family, Jerry Marotta, Jason Webley, D. James Goodwin, Gretchen Heinel, Jordan Tetewsky, Eli Walker, all my moonies, and JP

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Track Name: A Bird in the Crocodile's Mouth
A Bird in the Crocodile’s Mouth

Feels like it's been a while—
what am I waiting for?
Your empty-hearted smile?
I don't care anymore.

The slow descent
into the madness of our fears.
You know I meant
to do it better this time, but I'm not really here.

You went the extra mile—
am I supposed to be proud?
You're in denial;
I can't stand by watching you drown.

I know the game, don't wanna waste another day
just grinding our gears.
There's no one to blame for all the pain
you've felt all these years.

Feels like it's been a while—
what am I doing wrong?
Tooth of a crocodile,
I guess you were right all along.
Track Name: Hungry Ghost
Hungry Ghost

Go back inside,
there’s nothing here to see.
Don’t try to describe
me to me,

‘Cause if you can think it,
I’ve already said it
in a meaner way.
And anyway, the thing is
I try to forget it,
but it’s here to stay.

And I’m sick of everybody leaving me for dead—
all I hear is people grieving,
even in my head.
They say that what you give is what you get;
I gave you everything, and all I got
is a lot of regret.

Come back inside,
it’s getting cold out here.
I want to survive
another thousand years.
And this is the reason
I can never tell you
what I mean to say:
the sounds I’m making,
you’ve already heard ‘em
in a cleaner way.

But I’m sick of everybody leaving me for dead—
all I hear is people grieving,
even in my head.
They say that what you give is what you get;
I gave you everything, and all I got
is a lot of regret.
Track Name: Let Me Stay
Let Me Stay
Sister, where’d you go?
I’ve gone and fallen off my horse again.
Summer’s ending; I’m remembering
everything we could’ve been.

But those forever feelings never stay.
I had a center once; she went away.

Was the weight of my darkness too great?
Call me the light – I will drive those demons away!

Brother, where’d you go?
I’ve wandered off and lost my way again.
My feeding frenzies
leave me feeling empty nine times out of ten.

Those phosphorescent petals always fade.
You said you loved me once, but something changed.

Was the strain of my sadness too great?
Call me the rain – I am here to clean the slate.

Brief moments of bravery,
relapses into cowardice.
Glimpses of profundity,
dances with the precipice.

Retreating back into your slippery shell—
safe within the dismal diving bell.

Well, instead of going into hiding
and pushing everyone who loves you away,
what if you opened up your doors
and let me stay?
Track Name: The Blessing The Curse
The Blessing / The Curse

Tie the tourniquet tight;
bathe my eyes in angel light.
I never believed a word I said was true;
I was abusing language to have power over you.
And I know I'm the devil, I know I'm a mess;
but I'm not a broken record, I learn my lessons fast.

Push that feeling down—
you'll scare them all off if you let it out.
But I don't want to not have anything to say.
Nothing in my body's telling me this is ok,
so I will find the part of you that I can love;
my blessing and my curse, I am what you are made of.

She painted me white,
changed my bandages and stayed the night.
And I am here to learn all that she has to teach;
I will swim towards her lighthouse, always just out of reach.
After all I wanted nothing if not love:
the blessing and the curse I can't stop dreaming of…
Track Name: circlenot astraight
circlenot astraight

The answer comes as a question mark,
and I can’t be bothered to remark.
What did I know but wasn’t ready to say?

I am your sister—don’t pretend
I don’t know your tricks;
you were my only friend.
I never thought that we would end up this way.

My addictions make me hate,
but my afflictions make me kind.
I’m a circle, not a straight line.

Then we get swallowed by the abyss.
What is the meaning of all of this?
You might act like you’ll never die,
but you’re getting old.

Don’t act like you don’t love the sting—
I know you’re capable of anything.
You were the most convincing lie I ever told.

My afflictions make me hate,
but my addictions make me kind.
I’m a circle, not a straight line.
Track Name: There is a Light
There is a Light

Buried alive, we got sucked down the funnel.
But there is a light at the end of our tunnel.
So don't waste your time giving up when you could be forgiving.
Don't lose your mind; don't forget this life is for the living.

Here is the girl you don't remember meeting
to show you the love you're so afraid of needing.
You fight so hard just to make them all think that you never struggle.
You say you see how it is; what you're looking at is a piece of the puzzle.

And we could put it together, or disintegrate—
you know it's now or never, but it's never too late
to give it all away.
So give it all away.

Well I know the world is in all kinds of trouble,
but you can't live your life in some aseptic bubble.
So don't lose sight of your worth and the infinite wealth of gifts you've been given.
Open your mind to the world and the intimate well of truth that lay hidden.

Well we could lie down and collectively seal our fate…
You know it's now or never, but it's never too late.
Track Name: Glukupikron
Glukupikron

Sickened as I am by my own behavior,
I cannot seem to make it change.
You’ve given me all the chances I deserve
to prove you right and clear my wretched name.

Why do I fight
all that I know to be good
and true and holy and right?
And what is this drive
to drive you away
when your love is what keeps me alive?

Bittersweet pill,
promise me you will
be here still.

I believe my sadness has served a purpose,
but I see how bad it fucks with you.
I have had my fill of feeling worthless,
and now I’ve got better things to do

So no more doubt—
slit my belly open,
pull that stubborn stuffing out!
And fill me with light—
I think I’m finally ready to be alright.

Bittersweet pill,
promise me you will
love me still.
Track Name: Little Red Lines
Little Red Lines

Well, here I am;
I wish you would look away.
I’m not the man
I thought I was yesterday.
I always change,
and you stay just the same.
You don’t get angry;
you know I’m not to blame.

You say, “you’re caught in a war
that you’re not gonna win,
but if you knock on my door,
baby, I just might let you in.
I know shit can get real
when you stay in one place;
when you sit there and feel
what no amount of thinking can erase.”

But I’ve been doing my best
to be doing ok,
so lay off, man,
I’ve had a long day.

I was afraid
you would see through my smile
and know I can’t wait
to be alone for a while.
You know I love you
and hate to cause you pain,
but you’re bound to get a little roughed up
playing in the lion’s mane.

From the little red lines
to the wolves at the door,
I gave some warning signs
that were not so easy to ignore.
You say it’s easy to change,
but I stay just the same:
fickle and strange,
with one too many tigers to tame.

But I’ve been doing my best
to be doing ok,
so lay off, man,
I’ve had a long day.

Yeah I’ve been doing my best
to be doing ok,
so try to understand
I’ve come a long way.
Track Name: White Owl
White Owl
In my dreams I will come to seek you out.
When I sleep, I'll become a white owl
and fly out of my window
and into your window,
and rematerialize
as myself
and wrap my snowy, naked limbs around you...
So, so happy I found you.
I used to think I was a one-of-a-kind.
Then, in the blink of an eye,
you appeared to show me I was blind.
And now I can see everything
and it's all beautiful;
you made me realize
all the stories I told were just lies
that used to sound true.
So, so happy I found you.
Out of the black, foreboding skies,
you are the sun that never fails to rise.
And when the shadows cover me,
you're the moon, I am your faithful sea
rising with you as you shine on me...
Through your eyes,
I've learned to see myself clearly.
I used to despise the poor girl inside the mirror,
but now I just pretend
that I'm looking at you
looking right back at me.
You show me the beauty
that I never could see.
So, so happy you found me.